Thursday, April 28, 2011

How does God speak to you?

How does God speak to you?  This has been a question that has been on my mind a lot lately, especially considering that I haven't really thought much about this question until I started discerning the Priesthood.  You see, I've always been kind of cynical of people who always go around saying "God spoke to me, and He told me that..."  because I guess I've never thought of God as working that way.  But I've had some experiences recently that have kind of given me some different insight into this topic, so I kind of wanted to share, and see what others thought about this.

Recently, I've had several experiences where something has been on my mind that is troubling me, and for no apparent reason, a scripture verse will pop into my head, or a song will come on to the radio that is exactly the answer to the question I was asking myself.  I can't explain it, but there is a sense of comfort that comes from knowing that if I am willing to listen, the answers are there.  They may not come in the way I expect, but they will come.

I think that all too often, many people (myself included) expect God to speak to us in big ways- we want to hear that booming voice coming down from the clouds, and God saying "This is my will for you!"  But if there's anything I've learned over this past year, it's that God doesn't work that way.  Sometimes he speaks to us in out thoughts.  Sometimes it is through the words of others, whether it be a friend, parent, brother, sister, Priest, or anyone else we come into contact with.  Sometimes it can be through a song that we hear, or even  something that we see.  Sometimes it can just be a feeling.

The experience that really drove this home for me happened at the Easter Vigil this year.  I was serving, which meant that I got to be more involved in the service, everything from singing the Exsultet, to witnessing the Baptisms of the people who were becoming Catholic.  It was an incredible feeling to not only see the smiles on the faces of the newly Baptized, but to also feel the Holy Spirit move during the Confirmations.  It was enough to move me to tears, and it is the little reminders like this that are the greatest reassurances of God's presence in our lives.

So I guess if there's anything I've learned, it's not not always think of God speaking in big ways, but to look instead in the stillness, for it is there that God speaks to us.  May we all learn to not be afraid of this stillness, so that we too may learn to listen for the voice of God.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Limbo

Our Priest shared this at the Good Friday service today.  Just wanted to pass it along.


Limbo
by Sister Mary Ada
The ancient greyness shifted
Suddenly and thinned
Like mist upon the moors
Before a wind.
An old, old prophet lifted
A shining face and said:
“He will be coming soon.
The Son of God is dead;
He died this afternoon.”
A murmurous excitement stirred
All souls.
They wondered if they dreamed –
Save one old man who seemed
Not even to have heard.
And Moses, standing,
Hushed them all to ask
If any had a welcome song prepared.
If not, would David take the task?
And if they cared
Could not the three young children sing
The Benedicite, the canticle of praise
They made when God kept them from perishing
In the fiery blaze?
A breath of spring surprised them,
Stilling Moses’ words.
No one could speak, remembering
The first fresh flowers,
The little singing birds.
Still others thought of fields new ploughed
Or apple trees
All blossom-boughed.
Or some, the way a dried bed fills
With water
Laughing down green hills.
The fisherfolk dreamed of the foam
On bright blue seas.
The one old man who had not stirred
Remembered home.
And there He was
Splendid as the morning sun and fair
As only God is fair.
And they, confused with joy,
Knelt to adore
Seeing that He wore
Five crimson stars
He never had before.
No canticle at all was sung
None toned a psalm, or raised a greeting song,
A silent man alone
Of all that throng
Found tongue –
Not any other.
Close to His heart
When the embrace was done,
Old Joseph said,
“How is Your Mother,
How is Your Mother, Son?”

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Holy Week is here!

This week, we as a Church enter into the holiest week of the Church year,  The week in which we commemorate the Passion and Death of Christ, and prepare to celebrate the Easter Mysteries.  This week begins with Palm Sunday, and ends with the Easter Triduum.

As I was sitting in Mass this morning, watching people make crosses out of their palm branches, I recalled the words of one Priest, who jokingly referred to Palm Sunday as "Arts and Crafts Sunday," since so many people would be making crosses out of the Palms during Mass.  But why do we carry the palm branches on Palm Sunday?  The symbolism in the use of palm branches can be found in the Gospels, where mention was made that the followers were placing branches on the road in front of Jesus, and shouting "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!"  The palm branch, then, is a symbol not only of Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem, but ultimately a symbol of his triumph over death, since he entered into Jerusalem to suffer, and be nailed to the Cross.

As I was reflecting on the Crucifixion the other day, The thought that came to my mind was that many of the modern depictions of the Crucifixion are "too nice."  One only needs to look at the Crucifixes in most Catholic Churches to see this.  We see Jesus, portrayed with maybe a few drops of blood coming from the crown of thorns, some blood on his hands and feet from the nails, and then the lance wound in his side, and that's about it.  The temptation is to try to lessen the horror that took place, and try to make it seem like the Crucifixion was "not all that bad."  I can remember that when Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" came out, many people complained that it was "too violent" and that he went "way over the top" in portraying the sufferings of Jesus.  In all reality, though, Mel Gibson's portrayal of the events surrounding the Crucifixion is probably quite accurate.  Look at it this way:  Crucifixion was the most horrible way to be put to death, and Jesus was not just crucified:  he was beaten, mocked, crowned with thorns, and fell carrying the cross not once, not twice, but three times.  He would have been bleeding from the marks of the scourging, bleeding from the thorns that had been shoved so mercilessly into his head, bleeding from the wounds he would have no doubt incurred when falling down, both from the ground, and from the cross landing on him.  When he finally reached Calvary, and his clothing, his last remaining bit of dignity was taken from him, He must have been in agony as the force of his garments being removed ripped open his wounds again.  As he was nailed to the cross, and then the cross was stood up, he could hear the jeers of the crowd mocking him, and telling him to "save himself, if he was indeed the Son of God."

And yet, he still had the courage to suffer.  And when Jesus was on the Cross, Every single person who believes in him was on His mind.  He could see all of us, and he knew that he was suffering for us, so that we would not have to pay the price of our own sin.  There is a mediation that I once heard a Priest in the Byzantine Rite reference, which states "This you suffered willingly, This you suffered, just for me."  What a powerful image of the grace and mercy of God, knowing that God loved us so much that he sent his Son to die for us, so that we all might know eternal life with God!

My prayer for this Holy Week is that as we walk with Jesus and commemorate his Passion and death, we can all attain a greater understanding of the Paschal Mystery, and celebrate the Easter Mysteries with great joy.  Remember the words of John 3:16:  "for God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, so that those who believe in Him might not perish, but may have eternal life."

Christ Crucified, have mercy on us.  Amen.

Monday, March 28, 2011

What a week!

So I'm a little late with this post, because I am actually referring to last week, but better late than never, I guess!

The first week back from a break always seems more hectic than the rest... even more so for me, since I'm getting into the busy time of year, getting ready for Showfest.  What also made last week hectic was the fact that I decided to tell my students about my plans.  I wasn't sure what was going to happen when I told them, but I knew that it was time.  I had been becoming increasingly worried about what my future had in store for me, and I  was beginning to feel like I had said anything to my students/colleagues because I was afraid things might not work out.  But I finally "came to my senses" so to speak, and realized that the best thing to do was to let go, and let God take care of things.  It hasn't exactly been the easiest thing in the world, but I know it was the right thing to do.  And my students took it really well, too! My favorite question I got was "does this mean you get to wear the pointy hat?"

My whole life recently seems to be an exercise in learning to trust God.  I'm realizing more and more each day that I can't do this on my own.  I try to go it alone, and I end up crying to God when I'm at the breaking point, because I realize that I need his help.  Hopefully I can keep that knowledge always at the front of my mind, and keep God at the center of my life, and not get distracted by all the temptations that I know I will encounter in my day to day life.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Reflections on my trip to Colombia

It's been a few days since I returned from Colombia, and now that I have finally had a few days to reflect on my experience, I would just like to share some of my experience.

The purpose of the trip was to have the North American Basilian Associates visit the Basilian community in Colombia, and connect with a part of our community that many of the community members have not seen.  We also were able to meet some of the Candidatos (candidates) who were beginning the formation process.  It was a great experience, and there is so much that happened, that I'm not even sure where to begin.

The majority of our time was spent in Cali, Colombia, which is where our school in Colombia is.  The School, Instituto Nuestra Senora de la Asuncion (INSA), is a K-11 school, serving approximately 700 students.  It was truly incredible to see the things that were being accomplished at the school.  INSA is in a fairly poor area of Cali, and Fr. Frank Amico, the Rector of the school, said that he runs the entire school on only $650,000 a year (which is not a lot of money!)  Some students only pay about $1 a month to go there, because the idea is to have a high-class school in a poor area, and open it to as many students as possible, to hopefully help them achieve a better future.

What is truly amazing about the school is that the students have an opportunity to learn 3 languages while they are there.  They of course learn Spanish, but every single student learns English from Kindergarten all the way to 11th Grade, and when they are older, they can also choose another language, from French, Italian, even Mandarin Chineese!  Walking through the school, you see so many smiles on the student's faces, and you could never tell which students were from a poor neighborhood, since everyone at the school is required to wear a uniform.  Some things also know no cultural boundaries, like the male student with 3 girls hanging off of him.

While we were there, one of the Priests took us on a tour of the Barrios (neighborhoods) surrounding the school.  In one Barrio, La Playa, which is where the poorest of the poor live in Cali, I could have easily filmed one of those "for only $1 a day, you can help a child in need" commercials in that area.  It was gut-wrenching to experience that poverty first hand, because when you're actually there, you can't just "change the channel" so you don't have to look at it.  I am so glad that the school is working to give the children from that area a good education, to give them a better future.  Makes me want to do something to raise money for the school, so that they can educate even more children!

We also had an opportunity to travel to Trujillo, Colombia, which is a city where over 300 people were murdered by various groups.  These groups were guerrilla groups, paramilitary groups, and even the Colombian Army.  It was very sad to not only see the memorial, but also to hear the stories about how some of the people were tortured/killed.  I won't post any of them here, because they are quite gruesome, and I honestly can't bring myself to type them out.  It is nice to see that there are people working to help the families of the victims cope, though, and that they won't rest until the violence has completely stopped. (it has lessened, but there are still murders that occur.)

Even though there were many sobering experience this week, there were a lot of positive ones as well!  The Canididatos at the house in Cali were some of the nicest people I have ever met, and even though there was a bit of a language barrier, we still were able to communicate, even using some creative ways to try to get our point across (like when Casey Johnson sang the Batman theme to try to communicate that a bat had flown into the library in the house.)

All in all, it was a great experience, and I sincerely hope that I have the opportunity to go back someday.  This experience helped me to re-confirm that I am making the right decision to join the Basilians, because the sense of community that I felt was the same sense that I get when I visit our North American communities, even with the language barrier.  The places we went, the people we saw, and the whole experience was very powerful, and I will carry this experience with me for the rest of my life.

I am so glad that I got this opportunity, and I hope that those of us that were on the trip can work to foster a greater sense of Community with our Colombian brothers, and work to help "bridge the gap" between the community in Colombia, and the North American communities.

If you're interested in seeing pics, I have them on my Facebook.  I may post some on here, once I figure out how... I'm still kind of new at this!

God Bless!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Lent: What does it all mean?

For many years, I've struggled with what the meaning of the season of Lent is.  Growing up, my parents always encouraged me to "give something up", like candy, or soda, or something like that.  I was always told that we were to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and abstain from eating meat on those days, as well as on all Fridays during Lent.  I would go to Mass on Ash Wednesday, and get the Cross of ashes on my forehead, while at the same time hearing the Gospel from Matthew that tells us not to let people know that we are fasting, and to instead keep our appearance well groomed.  And while I will admit that walking around with a Cross of ashes on your forehead does pose a great opportunity to spread the Gospel, I think that many people may miss the point of what it all means.

I remember listening to a Homily last year on Ash Wednesday, in which a Priest friend of mine said that the Ashes should serve as a reminder of not only our own sinfulness, but also for the need to let the Light of Christ burn deeper into our souls.  Just as there is a surge of new growth in a forest after a forest fire, because the sun can reach places that it couldn't before, so it is in our relationship with God, when we remove the clutter from our lives, and allow the Light of Christ to reach deeper into our souls, and touch places it previously could not.

How do we accomplish this though?  I think the best way to look at it is this:  Just like a forest must sometimes be cleared of excess overgrowth, to keep a massive forest fire from happening, so must we clear the "excess" from our lives, in order to help us avoid temptation and sin, and ultimately grow closer to God.  So our Lenten "fast" does not have to be about just giving up food, or not eating meat on Fridays, or not eating as much.  It can also be about so much more.  Here is what the Prophet Isaiah has to say about Fasting:

Is this the manner of fasting I wish, of keeping a day of penance:
That a man bow his head like a reed, and like in sackcloth and ashes?
Do you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?
This, rather, is the fasting that I wish:
Releasing those bound unjustly,
untying the thongs of the yoke;
Setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry,
Sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;
Clothing the naked when you see them,
And not turning your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed;
Your vindication shall go before you, and the Glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

Isaiah 58: 5-8

What does this all mean?  It means that we can gain far more by giving up our grudges, our vices, and striving to recognize Christ in others, and be Christ to others.  If we do that, then we will truly grow closer to God, and we will truly learn what the season of Lent is all about.  My prayer for everyone this Lent is that we may learn to be Perfected by God, and always rely on His Grace to give us the strength to endure in times of trial.  May you find the courage to allow God to "burn" deeper into your life, and reach into your soul in ways he never has before.  Amen.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The challenge of Priesthood

Today, I witnessed what must be one of the great challenges of Priesthood.  Our Pastor, Fr. Voorhies, just found out recently that his father was diagnosed with Lymphoma, and isn't doing very well.  Just today, his father, who lives in Louisiana, was re-admitted to the hospital, and it was feared that he wouldn't make it through the day.  Fr. Voorhies was very frazzled when he showed up to say evening Mass, and that really got me thinking.

What a challenge it must be to not only carry the weight of the world (or at least of your Parish) on your shoulders, while at the same time handling family situations.  So many people go to their Priests for help with their problems (as I have many a time), but I think we have a tendency to forget that Priests are people to, and they oftentimes will have their own problems to deal with.  So many times they do this with such grace, but a lot of times, it must be very hard to cope with everything that is going on.  It is times like these that all we can do is pray for God's grace to get us through the situation.