What do you really desire?

"The key to getting what you desire is to desire the right things."
Fr. Edmund McCorkell, C.S.B.

The above quote is on one of the Vocation Posters that hangs in the Basilian Novitiate House.  I've glanced at this poster so many times in the three plus months I've been here, but the other day, this quote really struck me, and it got me thinking: What do I really desire in life?

Of course, it's easy to think that I desire all the right things, that I'm doing God's will by journeying towards Priesthood, and that doing God's will is all that I am desiring in my life.  But, quite frankly, I know that just isn't so.

There are still times that I catch myself thinking about what it would be like to have a family, what I would be doing if I had continued to teach choir, and many other things that are different than where I am right now.  Am I really doing God's will if I am longing for something else while journeying towards Priesthood?

As I've given this some thought, I've come to realize that, sad as it is, this is normal.  Because humans are not perfect (even though many times we like to think we are)  We constantly must remind ourselves of our need for God in this life, so that we may dwell forever with Him in the next.  We must constantly re-commit our selves to being Disciples of Christ, and we must constantly keep forsaking the ways of the world.

But what a task this is!  If only we could have the faith of Bartimaeus, the blind beggar that Jesus heals as He is headed to Jerusalem.  Mark's Gospel tells us that when Jesus called to him, he immediately threw aside his cloak, and ran to Jesus (no small feat for a blind man!)  And when his sight was restored, he followed Jesus without a second thought, even though Jesus had told him that he could go wherever he wanted to.

This is where our desires must lie- With Bartimaeus as our example, may we put our sole desire in God, and learn to trust him.  How much more will God give us if we fully desire him alone, and we don't keep looking for worldly happiness, which fades like the setting sun?  God does not want us to be unhappy.  God is Love, and his love for us is the greatest gift we could ever wish for.  I cannot begin to explain how different my life is now that I am in the Novitiate.  I am united to the people of God in a way that I never thought was possible- and when I really start to think about that, I thank God that he has blessed me in such a way.

As we begin this joy-filled season of Advent, I urge you all to count your blessings, and to thank God for them.  And share some of that joy with others! It's the best way to make a difference in someone's life.  And may God bless you during this most holy Advent and Christmas season!