It seems like the past few days, I have been buried under a mountain of junk. I have so much on my plate right now, with getting ready for festival with my choir, to planning for a weekend retreat with my choirs that may or may not happen because it seems that the place we were going to go has no record of me calling to make a reservation, all while trying time to prepare for my departure in June by cleaning my apartment, getting rid of things that I won't be able to take with me (or just don't need anymore), especially since the week that I was going to take to finish everything, I now have to work because of the cancellations at the beginning of the month. It's enough to make anyone go crazy, and I honestly am starting to wonder how I am managing to keep it all together. My life, especially at school, feels like one giant lie, because I don't want to tell my students that I am leaving just yet, and I am constantly having to make sure that I don't let on about the fact that I am not coming back next year. It was especially hard when I did auditions for next year's choir, because there are so many talented students, and they kept saying "next year we should do this" or "I'm looking forward to having you as my choir teacher next year!"
But at the same time, as my departure grows closer each and every day, I find myself wishing more and more that I was just done with the whole school year already, and I was on that plane, getting ready to start the next chapter of my life. It's honestly been hard for me to find motivation to get out of bed in the morning these past few days. I honestly think it's because I'm working myself to death trying to make sure that I stay engaged in my teaching through the end of the year, because I don't want to fall into that "I'm not coming back, so why should I care?" mentality. Maybe I'm just burned out, and I need a break. Hopefully going to Cruces this weekend will be that break....
Please keep me in your prayers, that I can somehow find the strength to keep going, and finish this year strong.
I can only imagine what it is like. I am so burned out with this group of kiddos that I have had since January. Then, with all of the other stuff that is going on, it is much harder. Keep your head up. As I tell my kiddos at school, they have to be there everyday, why not make it the best experience at the moment? Keep in mind that God has you where He wants you now for a reason and even though it is hard, He is your shepherd and you are his sheep!
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