I have already written a post on this topic, but I decided that with all that has been going on in my home state the past few weeks regarding this issue, I needed to write a bit more about it to (hopefully) clarify why the Church teaches what it does regarding the Institution of Marriage.
First off, let me say that this will not be a Leviticus 17 quoting, gay-bashing sort of post. I don't swing that way, because that approach doesn't work for me. It will however, be a difficult post to swallow, because I know that this is a very touchy topic. So I ask two things before I even begin. One, that you read the post all the way to the end BEFORE making any comments, and two, that any comments that are made are kept respectful. If you can't do that, then please, stop reading now.
Still with me? Good. Let's begin.
Much of the Marriage Debate on the Christian side has been centered around a fundamentalist approach that only singles out one issue (same-sex marriage) as the be all and end all of the marriage debate. We say that "legalizing same sex marriage will destroy the institution of marriage" without realizing that the institution of Marriage as one man and one woman for life has already been destroyed by a society that seeks instant gratification- a society that says that if I am not happy, I have absolute right to dump my spouse and get a new one that can give me the pleasure I seek... or that says that any person has a right to have sex with whoever they want, whenever they want, just simply because it "feels good."
This is not what God intended for the union between Man and Woman, however. The union between man and woman was intended to be a life-giving union. "Be fruitful and multiply" was the first commandment given to humanity in Genesis 1:28. We were created to "fill the earth and subdue it" by a man and a woman becoming one flesh in the most beautiful and life-giving act of sexual union- an act that has been gravely distorted by our culture, starting with the legalization of contraception in the 1960's and 70's- an action that Pope Paul VI spoke out against in his Encyclical "Humanae Vitae."
Since then, we have seen our Human Morality slide down an increasingly slippery slope, as man has arbitrarily decided that they can change the natural created order to suit their own needs. Suddenly, society decided that because they could have sex without the fear of a woman getting pregnant, it was ok to have sex outside of marriage, or with multiple partners, simply because it felt good, and it satisfied some animal instinct dwelling deep inside of us.
Why are there so many sexual problems in the world today? It is for this reason- that by seeking sex solely for pleasure, and not for procreation, we have distorted our view of an act that was originally intended to be the most intimate and life-giving act a man and a woman could engage in. So in that view, the cry for same-sex marriage is not a destruction of the institution of Marriage, it is merely part of the fallout from the destruction of the institution that took place a long time ago.
What is sad is that amid all of this fallout, the dignity of the human person gets crushed between the rubble. After contraception was legalized, the innocent lives of unborn children were then all of a sudden seen as disposable, because women wanted to be able to take control of their body, destroying one of the most precious gifts that God has ever given to a woman- the gift of bringing a new life into the world. After that, it was not long before the rise of the pornography industry, as people sought more and more perverse ways to satisfy their sexual pleasures. All of a sudden what was supposed to be the most beautiful, intimate, and sacred act between a man and a woman was put on public display for all to see, and for all to find some pleasure in. I could continue, but it suffices to say that the downward spiral continues to this day. One only has to look at the TV, or listen to the radio, or go to a movie to see that. All of this because we as Human Beings dare to think that we "know better" than God- that we know what is best for ourselves, and no one should be able to tell us otherwise. It is the Garden of Eden all over again. Our Pride in ourselves, and our stating that we do not need God will eventually be our downfall.
It is the same with Same-Sex Marriage. By saying that a same sex couple can marry, legal officials are in effect saying that God got it wrong when he created man and woman, and told them to "be fruitful and multiply." They are denying the truth that a Marriage is supposed to be life giving, and instead arbitrarily trying to re-define what is a universal truth of the Natural Created order.
My point here is not to discredit the feelings that same-sex partners have towards each other. I have no doubt that in many instances, a deep personal relationship does develop between the two partners, and they are committed to each other, because I have known many same-sex couples that have wonderful, long-lasting relationships with each other. However, owing to the simple fact that in a relationship between two men or two women there is no potential whatsoever for the relationship to be life-giving in the same way that a heterosexual relationship is, a relationship (or union) between two men or two women cannot be called a Marriage.
This is the natural created order that God has given to us, and as a Catholics (or to use a more general term, Christians), we must remember that the assent of Faith is to believe and profess all that has been revealed to us by God in Sacred Scripture, and all that the Holy Church proposes for our belief. This is why the Catholic Church will never change its definition of Marriage to anything other than what it currently is. The definition of Marriage between one man and one woman for life for the purpose of procreation has been and always will be the definition of Marriage, forever and ever, Amen.
But wait a second... doesn't this definition seem a little intolerant, when put into the context of Jesus' teaching to "Love one another as I have loved you? (John 13:34)" At first glance, maybe, but we must also remember that Jesus did not adopt a sort of "lassiez faire" approach to evil in his time. Rather, he was constantly calling people to conversion, constantly calling them to turn from seeking their own selfish pleasures, and to "seek first the Kingdom of God, and everything else will be given you." (Mt. 6:33). This applies to all of us. In this, Jesus is calling to all of us to turn from our sinful ways, from our addictions, from our selfish ways of thinking, and to put him first- ABOVE ALL ELSE. That does not mean that we can pick and choose to follow only certain tenets of our faith that fit "our" morality- it means that we must always seek to live in God's love, and trust that He will give us what we need to be happy. Blaise Pascal once said that “There is a God shaped hole in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.” If only we would fully realize this, and stop seeking for the things of this world to satisfy a longing that only God can fully satisfy! When we begin to realize this, and turn to the Lord with our whole heart, it is then that we begin to put aside our pride, and slowly re-gain our trust that God really does know what is best for us.
